My thoughts on life, relationships, and everything else!

Thursday, September 30, 2004

how do you wear it?

those are the words you may hear me say in a gap commercial sometime soon, but probably not. I went to a modeling casting call today and was told I was 7 inches too short to be a model, but tv ads were my thing. Gap jeans would definitly be something I can do. problem is, I'm really doubting the legitimacy of the agency. The name it is going by is "Images of St. Louis" but do placement for the infamous John Robert Powers agency, known by the BBB for about 3 complaints a year, many aligations of making people pay for classes then not getting them jobs becuse they dont qualify. I got a letter for my second interview( yes, I got one) but she never suggested me to take any classes, like some of the other applicants, because I have always either been in a drama class or in a play. Although she did make the statement "I want you to make money, when you make money, i make money" and thats what its all about! so I don't know, when I call tuesday to confirm or deny my appointment, I may have a little dicussion with them as to the legitimacy of the claims. Nice to know whats up before I drive three hours to an audition,and I'm sure they will appreciate the notice of
"I refuse to take acting classes".....if they are looking for the next actress with a diva complex,they found her!
Oh well, there's one more thing to check as ACCOMPLISHED IN THE GOAL BOOK

Monday, September 27, 2004

Some say you can't see God, but if you look you can see him everywhere!!

As I was reading the other day I came across something I have heard about a million times but never really thought about. That God makes everything, but yet is everything in a sense, not to be confused with the "I am a God " movement. I heard one pastor give a sermon on this for over two hours, explaining how God is the great creator and created everything and works through his creations, but I didn't give much thought to it. After service, I got in my car and started to drive down the highway. I had just put in a praise and worship CD in my player when it started to mess up...yet again ( for anyone who knows my cars sound system, you know how common this is) it would play part of a song and skip to a different part of a totally different song, then skip back to the first song, so on and so forth. The really funny part of it this time was half of the way home, all it would do is skip between two songs and how it patched together was" God is....God is....God iiiiisssss........the car!too funny!, but anyways, what I read. It pointed out how God works through everyone, christian or not, and how our jobs, no matter how small, helps others and does Gods work in a way. for example, one of the ways he protects us is through having police, military, and judicial systems that help people to follow rules and keep us safe. He helps to give us our daily bread by providing farmers, good healthy crops, proper conditions, and stores to distribute the food to cities. Everything is created equally and has an important part in the cycle of life. Another way that God has blessed us is by giving everyone special gifts and by giving us different strong points, rather than being self- sufficiant. For example: ( and please don't takew this as being sexist or anything, its just a generalization) the wife tends to be the more nurturing and caring role in our family structure and the husband is the provider and leader. Our vocations can be helpful to God, even if it isn't really theological!.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Who ya got in the bag????

One night when I was coming home from church, I noticed a car stopped in front of the thickets and trees near the driveway to my apartment complex. I slowed down a little to see if everything was alright.... Until I noticed him lift something large, limp, and the shape of a body in a bag out of his trunk! In shock(and obviously not thinking clearly)I stopped the car and made sure I saw what I thought I saw, which was not good, because he dropped the bag and came towards the car,I don't think I have ever drove away from something so fast in my life!!! After telling my grandmother what had happened, we decided to wait until morning and go see what was there before calling the police. The next day, I drove to the spot and started to look. I could see where the bag was buried and a little piece of it sticking out( I guess it was too dark to see when he buried it) with a stick I gently prodded at it, then the bag opened. The contents fell out and...It was a bag of garbage! It's really sad that with so many people being kidnapped and murdered anymore that you have to be defensive. Anymore you never quite know what to expect.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Abortion and contraception:choice or murder?

Abortion and contraceptives are two things most people don't like to talk about, but are major issues. Many people believe that abortion is okay, its not a baby, its just a non-living thing. But then some people feel like abortion is murder, but so is contraception, and to some contraception is safe, but are still pro life. About a month ago, I had heard a story on the news about a semi truck that was going to be driving around a city in my area with pictures of aborted fetuses on the sides and back of it. I agree with the point, but not the way they are doing it. Can you imagine being a woman who made the mistake of aborting a child five or ten years ago who realizes what she has done, trying to recover, just to see an incredibly graphic reminder of her horrid past? It's just cruel. This is an issue with many sides to it and many factors involved.

Contraception is a really hard thing to debate. It is true that you should not be having pre-marital sex in the first place, especially if you are a Christian, but if you are a person who does, is it better to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, or have a child you are abusive towards because you didn't want it? Many people also argue that any type of contraception involving hormones causes an abortion effect, but there are some that actually are not, you just have to be sure to talk to your DR. About it before making a decision. Also, contraceptives are not only used for people who don't want children. Many women who are married and have health problems where if they got pregnant, it would kill them, and are unable to get a hysterectomy or tubiligation, use them as a safeguard. Also there are many health benefits from them. They are often used to regulate a woman's body (which may never happen without them causing other health problems later)and are used to correct health problems. For example:I have problems that they use birth control to correct and I tried going without awhile here recently. Big mistake! I have been unable to do anything without extreme pain for almost two weeks due to cysts and the complications of them. Anyone who has been through things like that understand how important pills can be. I don't feel like it as a sin to use a contraceptive if it is non-abortive, and is going to be better option for you.

abortion is a totally different issue. Technically a child is a living thing from the point of conception. If you ask any biologist, that Egg becomes a living, independent, single celled organism from the second that the DNA fuses. This means even morning after pills and "emergency contraceptives",which many pro-life women think are safe, are just really early term abortions. Many doctors,especially pro-life physicians, will ask you, and keep on your file, if you want contraceptives used in the case of a rape, just for that reason. There are also the "late term abortion fans, which there is no doubt in anyone's mind that it is murder. During these,a chemical is often injected into the body, or sometime taken as a pill , and it causes the woman to go into labor, thus giving birth to the child. It is supposed to kill the fetus first, but quite often the child is actually alive when they are taken from the mother and are then killed, I have read, and heard straight from the person, horror stories of how and why they kill the babies in abortion clinics, I wont go into it, but if you google the topic, you will learn more than you want. God loves us all, even before we are born. if he thinks of us as people then, why shouldn't we?

Thursday, September 09, 2004

The War: what you think when your there

I really feel bad for the men and women fighting overseas and their families. As being a former girlfriend to several members of the army who had served in places like, Iraq, Kuwait, Qatar, and Korea, I have heard first hand about a lot of the horrid things that went on. Nothing wakes you up like trying to talk to the guy your dating on the phone and he has to talk in secret or your afraid this may be the last time you hear each others voices, also seeing where they are flash across the TV screen as a place of bloodshed never helps. I truly feel for these people. They go from living normal lives, and some with little training, to go into a war zone in some areas that have sub-standard living conditions. They have little contact with friends or family, and when they do, it is very short. I'm not anti-war (as I have stated before) but I feel we need it to end!

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Everyone seemed to be posting on this, so I'm joining the crowd: why "God laid it on my heart" may not be the evil statement everyone thinks it is.

this goes along with my God and fate post, so here it goes

The main problem I have with the thought of the "it is never God, really, its just your subconscious mind" thing is that , don't we all pray for God to guide is the right direction at times? Ask him to help us through a problem we are facing? Know what to say to someone? I think most Christians have at some point, and whether audibly or inaudibly, in some way, shape or form, God had made the answer apparent. To me, this is the same as him laying something on your heart. When you start off, you are a mess, and have no answers..Then after a lot of prayer and intimate talking with God, you do...Is that coincidence, fate, or is it God trying to let you know something. There are some things your subconscious isn't likely to just pop into your mind. For example: a lot of people( especially in the missions field) will just be walking down a street, and pass by someone, then suddenly have a feeling like this is someone they need to reach out to. I think the thing that really makes the "laid on my heart" thing seem like a bunch of bull is the over use of it by evangelists. It seems like no matter what evangelist you hear speak, God has laid a million and one things on their heart all at once, nothing they speak has came from their own mind or their own heart, it's all God, many act as if they almost are God...I hate to sound rude or disrespectful, but in regards to that,if they are the "mouth of God" why am I listening to them and not him? It really loses validity. Like all other religious occurrences, when you see it in action, or truly have the feeling, its hard to deny it.