My thoughts on life, relationships, and everything else!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Virginity, sex, society, and why dating sites suck

I was joining one of those 99 point relationship and psychological profiling dating sites today when I noticed a flaw in their process. When they ask you about physical intimacy either your a porn star,one night stander, no drive or no drive and celibate......You cant be sexual or have a drive eventually and be celibate. I even got an email stating this and that I have a low sex drive and will be paired with people of the same drive level.... And that's compatible??? What ever happened to sex being something precious between a man and his wife and saving yourself meant you had self respect...Not a low sex drive? I guess it is low due to the fact it isn't happening, but if drive is so important its a factor, won't it still be a factor post marriage? And what about people who aren't virgins, but have seen the wrong they have done and are waiting until marriage to have sex again? They obviously know what their drive is and how it will be post marriage, so are they anti-sexual beings too?

Virginity in our society is treated like the plague anymore. Way back in the days of our Great grandparents, people lied about their lack of virginity so they wouldn't be considered slutty, now people lie about virginity to not be a prude. Plus, even if you don't lie about being a virgin still, some one will do you the favor. Take it from the queen of the virgin hoochie mama's here, I was a sophomore in high school, never even kissed beyond pecks, and I managed to sleep with the entire varsity football team, in one weekend, while home with the flu. The most recent case of virgin plague I saw though was on Mondays episode of "The Bachelorette" where two men who are virgins were treated as if they were some sort of sideshow freaks. Everyone wonders how in the world a man can be celibate at 25. When one man commented he was in love with his future wife and was saving everything for her, he was met with a dialogue of:
host: are you getting married?
guest: no
*****random "OMG your a sideshow freak" looks from everyone******
the same man was also seen as a reject because virginity = so horrid he cant get any action
yes, maybe he should have clarified, but still the whole show both virginal men were seen as weirdo's.

As one of the many people who have made mistakes and are trying to save what's left for marriage, the virgin thing was a piece of cake....Try telling a man who wants to get frisky and knows you have done stuff your saving yourself and see what happens.... It's like an automatic break up right there. If your still a virgin and he's a decent guy, he will respect your wishes and feel like a scumbag. If your not, you think he isn't good enough for you and your a liar. Most people in general, even some Christians, can't quite grasp the concept that in Christianity, God forgives our sins, whether lieing, stealing or even fornication. These people forget that sin is sin, and part of forgiveness is giving up the wrong that you have done. When I find a guy who understands this and meets the checklist.....I'm getting married...Until then....I'll just wait.