My thoughts on life, relationships, and everything else!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Why can't we be friends?

It's the question almost always asked at some point after a break-up.....Can be stay "just friends" after this? I am wondering this right now. ok, so a few weeks ago, a couple days after my last post, we broke up. well, actually let me backtrack. I told him he had to make a decision because I wasn't going to wait fo him to make a decision for forever and I had more important things to worry about than his indecisiveness. Yes, this was harsh, but It's how we both are. anywho, he tells me to come over so we can talk so i do. we decide just to take it slow and date or hang out, and then after a huge misunderstanding where he thought I said everything we ever did was meaningless everything seemed OK...almost. then the next day I call to see what time we were leaving to go somewhere and yells at me.... The real me....that didn't go so well and when i went to his house he pouted and broke it off with me. I was done and of course, went back to the partying, flirting, career driven me. so i hadn't heard from him in over a week, and he removed me from his friends list on MYSPACE (how low is that?)and everything, then BOOM! one night i am out with the girls swapping crappy man stories over a blue hawiian, and I get a text message out of nowhere from him making sure I don't hate him. I ask the same thing and after calling, him, accidentally hanging up, and calling back to apologize to his voicemail, We go on just texting occasional updated to each other (I am still not back on his myspace, and I am so not asking for an add). Well, today, he texts me to ask if we can hang out tomorrow. I told him to call me with a plan and we will see. most of my friends think it's a booty call or mind games, but the closest ones to both of us thinks he might actually miss me. I am ok with us hanging out and everything, but it would take alot for me to ever go back to him. he would have to prove to me that his is every bit as willing as I am to try to fix things and would have to prove that he can be the man in my previous post all of the time, not just once in a while.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

The "Let's take a break" BS and what I deserve

I know I haven't posted in forever, but i feel it's time to revive this blog....Way to much going on not to!

This is the dumbest concept ever....The relationship "break". Either break up with me, or don't. It's up to you...but DON'T pull the "I don't know what I want, so I think I need a period of time where I make you wait to see if I miss you", this makes even less since if you keep talking to me during this "break". I hate the break....I DISPISE the break. to me, a break is prolonging the agony of a break up. This is my attitude given my current situation. OK, so I was dating this guy for 6 weeks to the day. It was one of those met one night, waited two weeks to get together then spent every moment since together things. For those who know me well, have read this blog before it was edited, or read all three blogs, you know this is a very odd occurance for me. I am the "ok, whatever...I pretend to care but I really don't" queen. Problem here is... I cared, like genuinely cared. He wasnt married, He never cheated, He didn't even go psycho on me.....but I did on him. I think It's just impossible for me to be happy ..period... I have to screw it up...but anyways...back to the point. After my stressed induced fits, he decides we need a break so he can think without me there. I told him I would rather break up and if we get back together eventually, then fine. but no.....he wants the dreaded break, so I reluctantly agree (yet again...so not me). I am day three into this break thing and I have done more thinking than he probably has. It's kinda hard since He still calls me and yes I did call him for 5 seconds yesterday, but just to apologize for sounding bitchy when he called me and to tell him I do want to be friends afterwards, We had alot of fun hanging out with his friends and alone even. with all this "thinking time" I have decided to go back to my old ways, like pre-sexy sgt. McDreamy old me. I am career driven, goal oriented, and if you can't go with it...tough...I just really don't care. When you prove you care about me, I might open up and start to care about you. I know what I want in a man. I know what I need and what kind of man it would take to survive long term. I need attention, I need to know I am the most important woman in the room to you, I need to know that you will stand by me through the all-nighters, the finals weeks and the 100+ hour school and work weeks. These are not only the things I need from a man, but I think they are things I deserve, and things I would willingly give in return if given to me. Short term is fun, and I probably should stick with it, but it doesn't always stay short term and that's when bad things happen. no one get's what they want or expect, then you waste time, money, and oppertunities trying to figure out what you want with "breaks". If this one ends up coming back to me, then good. He knows what he is dealing with and is willing to be that man, which honestly I think he easily could be. I have took responsibility for my actions, made my expectations clear and have done my part, so now it's his turn to decide what he wants.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

this really makes me angry!

THIS article I just read really upset me, not only because I can't stand to hear about people suffering, but because is so common but overlooked. This woman is not only a prominant socialite, but lived by the motto "money is like manure, it should be spread around". She donated money to the arts, to the elderly, tried to make a difference. someone who did so much should be given every comfort possible, not sleeping on a urine soaked couch because her son is too busy spending her money to make sure she is taken care of. That is one thing I have learned so far working with the elderly, no matter what your income, or contribution to society, when you become old and frail you are at the mercy of your family and/or caregivers. If they don't care, you won't be cared for. It makes me cry just thinking about it, and few things make me genuinely cry.
Another story I read made me feel a little better tho. A Homeless man found $21000 in bonds returned them. he received a $100 reward, but then received over $4000 in money from other people who heard his story. sometimes you benefit more than expected from doing the right thing.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

This is the strangest religion I have ever heard of......and it's a MAJOR one!!

Yes, I am speaking of scientology. crap, i have issues with even capitalizing it becuse it's such a scam. you don't even find out what you believe in until you have paid thousands of dollars. I have been meaning to do this post since I did my Agnostic paper and a woman in my class did hers over scientology. I read her info before her presentation AND WAS UPHAULED!!! The information I am about to put in this post is true to my knowledge, and has came from many, many sources that all state the same (including the AWESOME South Park episode that reminded me to post this.....those guys did their research!) so here goes.
Scientology was founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, and you can tell, since the foundation sounds like a story you might read with your 8 year old at bedtime. This site gives the best detail I have found yet, and here is an excerpt about the core of Scientology belief. "75 million years ago, there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu who was in charge of 76 planets in our sector of the galaxy, including planet Earth, whose name at that time was Teegeeack.

All of the planets Xenu controlled were over-populated by, on average, 178 billion people. Social problems dictated that Xenu rid his sector of the galaxy of this overpopulation problem, so he developed a plan.

Xenu sent out Tax Audit demands to all these billions of people. As each one entered the audit centers for the income tax inspections, the people were seized, held down and injected with a mixture of alcohol and glycol, and frozen. Then, all 13.5 trillion of these frozen people were put into spaceships that looked exactly like DC8 airplanes, except that the spaceships had rocket engines instead of propellers.

Xenu's entire fleet of DC8-like spaceships then flew to planet Earth, where the frozen people were dumped in and around volcanoes in the Canary Islands and the Hawaiian Islands. When Xenu's Air Force had finished dumping the bodies into the volcanoes, hydrogen bombs were dropped into the volcanoes and the frozen space aliens were destroyed. However, Xenu's plan involved setting up electronic traps in Teegeeack's atmosphere which were designed to trap the souls or spirits of the dead space aliens. When the 13.5 trillion spirits were being blown around on the nuclear winds, the electronic traps worked like a charm and captured all the souls in the electronic, sticky fly-paper like traps.

The spirits of the aliens were then taken to huge multiplex cinemas that Xenu had previously instructed his forces to build on Teegeeack. In these movie theaters the spirits had to spend many days watching special 3-D movies, the purpose of which was twofold: 1) to implant into these spirits a false reality, i.e. the reality that WOGS (Hubbard's derisory term for anyone not a Scientologists) know on Earth today; and, 2) to control these spirits for all eternity so that they could never cause trouble for Xenu in this sector of the Galaxy. During these films, many false pictures were implanted into these spirits, which resulted in the spirits believing in all the things that control mankind on Earth today, including religion. The concept of religion, including God, Christ, Mohammed, Moses etc., were all an implanted false reality that to this very minute is used to control WOGS on Earth.

When the films ended and the souls left the cinema, they started to stick together in clusters of a few thousand and remained that way until mankind began to inhabit the Earth. Today on Earth all the spirits of these aliens have attached themselves to our bodies and are the root cause of the false reality that all but Scientology's "Homo Novis" or OT 8's on earth experience. It is the job of all Scientologists to remove this false reality from the world by auditing each and every space alien spirit and human on earth to CLEAR not only this planet but the universe........To finish the story, the Loyal Officers of the Marcab Confederation finally discovered how evil Xenu was and overthrew him. He is now locked away in a mountain on one of the planets and kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery. Several of Xenu's relatives can often be found on the internet newsgroup called alt.religion.scientology or ARS for short battling Scientology daily." I think this is why Tom Cruise was always talking about the "Auditing".
The funniest thing (in more than one way) I learned from this was if you learn about the stry of Xenu too soon, you will die of pneumonia...It's been awhile for me and i haven't had so much as a cold, so I think It's ok to kreep reading!;)

The Same holy smoke article calculates you would have 2,209 of these Body Thetans (the alien spirits) attached to you, making you believe the way you do. The average cost for a Scientologist to OT 8 (clear the body thetans)is a $360,000 (or $163 each)...only $2,205,000,000,000,000 to clear the whole earth! Man, Let me grab my checkbook!!!

Maybe the eliteness due to money is why so many celebrities are drawn in. It's a religion where everyone else really is like them....rich. Plus Scientology sets up special centers to keep them from being like everyone else. Personally, I feel like If a monetary contribution is required to find out what I believe in, my faith obviously isn't that strong, and I need to do some looking!


**disclaimer: I am not meanining to be insensitive or to make fun of another religion, but to heighten awareness of It's beliefs....If you are a scientologist, or know alot about it and differ with this post, please leave a comment ~ thnx****

Monday, July 17, 2006

I Finally posted!!!!!!

i just received this statement Andy rooney made on 60 minutes a couple years ago in an email a few minutes ago, and I had to post it!.

"I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens..Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich, I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don't like my point of view, tough..."


yes, I know, this really isn't a post....but I might have one someday! ;)